One of my roommates has an eating disorder. She has a horrifically low self esteem and is convinced that losing weight is the answer to all her problems. If she ‘just loses a stone or two, then she will feel more confident!’ I am at a loss as how to help her. Hearing her talk about herself makes me want to cry. I can tell her she is beautiful, I can tell her she looks good the way she is, I can tell her losing weight will make her look awful but it is blatantly obvious that none of it is going into her head. It is like talking to a brick wall. I am throwing all these words at her and she is nodding and smiling and then responding with ‘Yeah but…..’

‘Losing weight won’t make you feel more confident, it doesn’t work like that’
‘Yeah I know, but I think that it will’

I want so much for her to realise just what a wonderful, what a beautiful person she is. But I do not know how.

And I am so angry at the people who prey on people like her. We were shopping the other day, in a chemist and there was a whole damn section for ‘diet’ or ‘weight-loss’ pills. She stopped to look at them, she didn’t buy any of them but that was probably because I was looking over her shoulder telling her not to. For all I know she will go back tomorrow and buy them.

Feeling bad about yourself? Feeling fat? Well here is a nice easy pill to fix that!

I am disgusted. Disgusted at the people who wake up and decide to make money off of people’s mental illnesses, off of people’s lack of self esteems. Disgusted at the owners of the chemists who decide to stock this repulsive invention.

Who cares how deeply depressed they are, I can make money off of keeping them that way!

There are people out there putting so much effort, so much work into helping people like my friend gain control of their disorder. So many people like my friend putting so much work into sorting themselves out. And it IS a lot of work. You don’t wake up one morning and decide not to have an eating disorder. It can take years to get it under control. And then there are people that make magic pills, pills to replace the addiction of not eating. So they can make a little bit of money.

There are so many women (and men) out there suffering like this. Being eaten from the inside out from the view they have of themselves. And we are making it acceptable to feel that way. Even good.

I really do not know what to do. If you have any advice on how to talk to her, things I can do, ways I can phrase things that may actually change something, that might actually go into her brain rather then bouncing right back at me then please let me know. She is such a wonderful person and she does not deserve to feel that way.

Would you consider yourself to be male or female?
I am, generally speaking, a female. However up until the age of 13 I wanted to be a boy. Not just in the tomboyish sense, I was seriously considering having a sex change once I was 18. My parents were so wonderful and supportive which is one of many reasons why I love them as much as I do. They didn’t try to change my mind, they just listened to what I said and how I was feeling and supported me as best as they could. If I had decided to have a sex change they would have supported me the whole way, making sure I was 100% sure it was what I wanted. However when I was around 13 my feelings completely reversed. I am now one of the girliest girls you will ever meet. I have no idea why this was, perhaps hormones? My parents supported me in this too.

What would you consider your sexuality to be?
I am straight. I did vaguely experiment with the idea of lesbianism in my teenage years, mainly because no men were particularly interested in me at the time. But I am almost 100% sure that I am a heterosexual. My parents would have supported me had I realised I was a homosexual, because they are awesome like that.

What is your hair colour?
My natural hair colour is a manky mousey yucky light brown. I have not seen it in a while though. It is usually darkish brown/red, or the faded version of this.

How would you describe your fashion sense?
I love fashion, I just love clothes really. I don’t follow a specific fashionable format, I buy clothes and put them together in my own way. Shopping for clothes is one of my favourite pass-times. When I walk down the street I usually know where most people’s clothes are from, that’s how much time I spend in clothes shops.

Do you watch High School Musical?
No! I have never even HEARD of it! And I certainly did NOT download most of the songs on iTunes.

What would you describe your skin colour as?
I am white, and pale too. I am a little bit tanned in places, but I assure you, it was not intentional.

How do you feel about animals?
I am not a fan. I don’t hate them, and I would NEVER harm one. But I would never own one either.

Are you right wing, left wing or indecisive?
I am most definitely left wing. As all awesome people are.
Disclaimer: I am sure some right-wing people are awesome too

Do you use text language?
No, never. Not even in texts. I hate it. It takes so damn long to decipher. And it really doesn’t require much energy to write it out legibly. The only ‘text speak’ I use is Lol. And occasionally ‘OMG’ but only when I am making fun of the type of people that say ‘OMG!’
Disclaimer: If you use OMG in a serious sense I am sure you are one of the few people that can carry it off

Do you speak French?
No. French Bastards.
Disclaimer: I have no problem with French people. Just French Bastards.

Are your nails too long?
No, I refuse to allow them to be. I have a bit of a nail phobia. I cannot stand it when people hold out their revolting long manicured nails and tell me to admire their manicure. It just makes me cringe. Disgusting people with their disgusting manicures.
Disclaimer: I am sure YOUR manicure is just lovely!

Are you Pro-Life or Pro-choice?
I am pro-choice. Generally speaking I would like to say that I am pro-life. But I can’t. I don’t think that I would ever have one, but I can understand why someone would. More needs to be done to prevent unwanted pregnancies from ever happening. Which is what worries me about so many pro-lifers – the ones that have the ‘It’s wrong, should be illegal but I am also only going to teach abstinence alone’.

Do you support the death penalty?
No. In no circumstances.

OMG! You are like pro-choice but you don’t think its OK to kill murderers? That is like so contradictory! How can you believe that?
Easily.

Do you smoke?
No, never have and never will. I fail to understand why anyone would ever start. And I am so thankful there is a public smoking ban.

Do you smell?
Only of nice stuff. And occasionally of mud. When I roll around in the mud and stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not really roll around in mud.

And that, my friends, is me!

Any other questions?

You suck because….

1) You are a man/woman/hemaphrodite
2) You are heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual/one-of-those-other-weird-people
3) You have brown/blonde/red/green/blue/insert-other-colour-here hair
4) You listen to jazz/rock/pop/classical/I’m-an-individual music
5) You dress annoyingly/dress all in black to prove that you really are depressed/wear clothes that blatantly do not suit your body shape
6) You watch/do-not-watch High School Musical
7) You make-too-much-noise-when-you-eat/don’t-eat-at-all/only-eat-disgusting-food
8) You are white/black/over-tanned/asian/whatever-colour-you-like-to-refer-to-yourself-as
9) You like/hate animals
10) You like/hate children
11) You are left wing/right wing/indecisive
12) You are Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Jewish/Sikh/Buddhist/some-other-random-religion
13) You use/do-not-use text ‘language’
14) You speak French
15) You are obese/overweight/average weight/underweight/non-existent
16) Your nails are too long
17) You are Pro-Life/Pro-choice
18) You support the death penalty
19) You smoke socially/passively/regularly/constantly/never
20) You smell

Disclaimer: I have no problem with people that are/do any of the above.
Disclaimer 2: Yes, I know there was no point to this post

I have officially not been living with my parents for almost 2 weeks. I therefore feel I am fully qualified to offer advice on independent living, particularly aimed at those with roommates (of the non husband/wife/ partner variety).

1) When removing things from the oven always wear oven gloves, preferably on both hands, but if you are to only wear them on one hand, remember to use THAT hand to take hold of the object within the oven rather then the uncovered one. Failure to do so will result in a high level of pain.

2) If you are intending to heat things up in the microwave, attempt to do so for the recommended length of time. If you are going to heat it for more then that time then remember to stay in the room with it rather then walk upstairs to discuss college work with your roommates. Doing this results in a high level of smoke and the possibility of fire.

3) When attempting to push the ladder back into the attic area, please do so while standing on a stable stool. Standing on anything less then stable results in you being pushed backwards, landing on the floor and possibly damaging yourself.

4) Should you find yourself in the situation where one of your roommates has a dog that is kept outside when she is absent from the house (due in part to you yourself being slightly afraid of dogs) please consider the following point…..
     …. when washing clothes hang them INSIDE. Attempting to take the clothes hanger thing outside may result in the dog pawing at you for attention which may result in you running back inside and re-locking the door. This then means that the clothes hanger is locked outside with the dog and you no longer have anything suitable to hang your clothes to dry on without venturing back outside. This results in clothes being hung in varying random places throughout the house which can look slightly messy.

5) When leaving the downstairs area to go to bed do not assume that your roommates will be coming down to close the windows even if it is only half past nine. They may, like you, be inclined to go to bed early. Just close the windows anyway. Failure to do this will result in windows being open all night which could well result in burglary.

6) Always put the bins out for collection the night before the relevant day. Do not assume that because they usually don’t come until after lunch that they always do this. They will invariably come early just to spite you which results in a full bin that will not be emptied for another 2 weeks.

7) If you happen to be the owner of a dog and in charge of cleaning up its poop, refrain from doing this job while wearing sandals. Failure to comply with this may result in very dirty and smelly feet.

8) If you leave the freezer open by accident, do not assume the resulting frost crystals are safe for consumption. Failure to do so may result in you becoming slightly ill.

Disclaimer 1: Yes I did do that. In my defence, I was overcome with excitement at the prospective deliciousness of my banana bread.
Disclaimer 2:I did not do this one. I was the roommate that the culprit came upstairs to talk to. Then mid conversation we realised we could smell burning and so we rushed downstairs only to discover the entire downstairs floor was full of smoke.
Disclaimer 3: I did not do this either. This was the same roommate who made the microwave mistake. I just stood over her and laughed compassionately. I am beginning to think she is slightly hazardous.
Disclaimer 4: This WAS me.
Disclaimer 5: Though burglary was a possibility I am fortunate that it didn’t happen to me. Though to be honest I suspect that any burglar on seeing my beautiful face would be compelled to leave immediately for fear of hurting such a wonderful person.
Disclaimer 6: Full bins sitting around for 4 weeks get smelly.
Disclaimer 7: This was not me. This was Riis (myxldove). Apparently having poop between your toes is not very nice.
Disclaimer 8: Again, not me. This was Rii…. umm… I mean… ‘Riis’ roommate’
Disclaimer 9: I am aware that some of these ‘disclaimers’ are probably not so much about disclaiming as adding additional information. However, I enjoy this disclaimation format I have going on so get over it.

In England the school year finishes half way through July and starts again at the beginning of September. The weeks between this are called The Summer Holidays. In this time my daycare turns into a holiday club in which children between the ages of 6mths and 11 years attend for varying hours of the day. This is not something I get paticular enjoyment out of, though there are good moments. This year I was waiting patiently for September, partly because of how I feel about Holiday Club and partly because the last few months of the school year had been incredibly busy. I had begun to feel like I was losing interest in my job, spending most of the day waiting till I could go home. I was hoping that September would revitalise me, refresh my love of my career. And it has. Today was an example of a great day, where I came home from work feeling like I had really made a difference in those children’s lives.

I spent some time exploring the garden with one little boy as he excitedly searched for butterflies, calling out ‘butterfly, butterfly, where are you?’ as we walked. I quoted a much loved book ‘Lima’s Red Hot Chilli’ in order to persuade a group of children to try mango, and they all loved it despite having refused to eat it at first. I read a story to a group of 18 children of a wide range of ages and managed to keep all their attentions through using a mixture of communication methods. I led the new lunchtime routine that I have recently introduced and it all went swimmingly, with children both younger and older using their independance successfully and proudly.
And I let a group of 6 year olds and one 3 year old paint my face and hands with facepaint. I then walked home with it still on, because that is how dedicated I am. They wanted me to keep it on till tommorow but I told them I would have to wash it off in order that I did not stain my pillow. They were sad but they understood.

I am glad I have my job.

In a comment on my recent post ‘If being a Christian means….’ someone decided to inform me that doing good works is worthless if you don’t believe in God (the Christian God that is). Now I don’t mind people disagreeing with me. I don’t mind people believing different things than me and I don’t mind people discussing their faith with me. What I do mind is people informing me that everything good that I do in my life is completely worthless because I have not decided to believe in the same God as they have. Tell THAT to the people I help.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I know that you might feel grateful to me but you actually shouldn’t because I didn’t do it with God in mind which means that I don’t count which means anything I do for you is really only pretend!’

And before you say it, no I did not mean by that that I help people in order that I can feel their gratitude. I do ‘good works’ because it is right, because it helps other people’s lives become better. Because I believe that we should all help people that have less then us… whether that be money, health, education or anything else. I believe that as a person that has so much I owe it to the world that I live in to give a little back, to make the world a better place and to give other people better chances in life. THAT is why I do it. Not because God told me to.

I am sorry if you feel that there is only any point to doing anything good if you do it for God. But I feel there is a point. The people that I help feel there is a point. In fact I think that the majority of people would prefer that someone who helps them is doing it because they care about THEM and not to satisfy the rules of their religion.

I am not better then you because I am not as Christian as you. And you are not better then me because you are more Christian then I. Good works that I do are not better then good works that you do. And good works that you do are not better then mine. If you wish to feel self-righteous, to feel as though you are doing it for some ‘higher purpose’ go ahead. But don’t tell me that I am worth nothing, that what I do is worth nothing just because I do not believe the same things as you.

Disclaimer: I was not making stereotypical judgements about Christians. I know of many Christians that do good works with God in mind but do so without appearing self-righteous, people who actually care about those they are helping as well as their God. I respect these people and in some respects I am one of them. I just do not appreciate being informed that anything I do means nothing unless I choose one persons paticular view on one religion.

Rome is a strange city. It is old and new all mixed in together. They have carefully built up around all the old churches and ruins rather then built over it. You can turn a corner from a fairly modern street and suddenly have ruins in front of you. There are little churches everywhere, which probably only have a fairly small congregation but yet each of them are so ornately decorated. Artists like Michelangelo, Bernini, Caravaggio and Raphael painted and created sculptures all over the city. You can walk into some tiny almost insignificant church tucked away somewhere in Rome and be looking at something painted by a very famous artist.

It is really quite fantastic. To really see Rome all you need to do is just aimlessly wander the streets. There are sculptures everywhere, random fountains, churches, ruins from ancient Rome. There is very little that you have to pay to see, and I think that if you really wanted you could get away with only paying for accommodation and food.

I personally paid to see in the Colosseum. Which was pretty amazing, but I must admit that my first thought was ‘wow! Jumper was filmed here!’. Does that make me a bad person?
We also paid to go in a few museums, but our main reason for that was because they were air conditioned whereas outside in the street was not.

The only other place we paid was in Vatican City. We paid to go into the Vatican museums which is a big building with a different museum in each room, and you have to walk through all these rooms and corridors and eventually you end up at the Sistine Chapel. And my God that was a waste of time. It was so damn packed, we were herded like sheep through the various rooms. There was no time to really absorb anything, and even if you wanted to it was too hot and smelt like smelly people so standing in one place was never a good idea. Especially when random fat men decided the best plan was for them to stretch their arm up when they were right next to you so they could take a photo of some sculpture. Which left you with a sweaty armpit right in your face. By the end I was so irritated with the whole procedure that I had resorted to laughing at everyone in my head just to amuse myself. For example, if someone were to push in front of me I would think to myself ‘Excuse ME, just because you are American doesn’t mean you have more right to space then me… and you have a BUMbag (this I believe is a fanny-pack in America), you don’t deserve to be IN the Sistine Chapel, let alone in front of me.’. And then I would laugh to myself and feel slightly better.
Or I would just judge everyone based on their clothing, hair and make up. This is one of my favourite pass times. (yes, I am a bitch).

So anyway, moving on from my bitchiness…. when we finally got to the Sistine Chapel, it was packed wall to wall. So we sort of glanced at the ceiling and said to ourselves ‘that’s pretty’. And then we were left.

It was, in my opinion, a  waste of money. But people more appreciative of art then I may not agree.

Disclaimer: I may THINK bitchy thoughts about people, but they are always about people I don’t know and only based on first impressions. I never let these impressions decide whether or not I like people or not. For example, I do not decide to be friends with someone because they are attractively dressed and nor do I decide not to be friends with someone because they are not. I am also aware that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and so while I may not think someone looks that good, other people may. I also know that there may be other people in the room that are judging ME in the same way, and no this is not enough of a reason for me not to do it.
Disclaimer 2: I totally did not just look at the Colosseum and just think about Jumper. I had LOADS of intelligent thoughts about it.
Disclaimer 3: I am not implying that I have any particular problem with people who wear bum-bags. If you are that type of person, I am positive you are one of the few that can carry them off.
Disclaimer 4: Neither do I have any problem with people being fat. Some of my best friends are fat!
Disclaimer 5: I was only being slightly sarcastic there. I was using the common argument of ‘some of my best friends are gay!’ that people use to explain why they are not homophobes when in fact they are. Just because it amuses me. However that does not mean to say that I secretly do have a problem with larger sized people. Only when I don’t know them, and when they are in my way… and this is not limited to large people, I find a reason to dislike any person that I don’t know if they are in my way regardless of their size, culture, skin colour, ear size, gender, height, clothing choice, hair colour, eye colour, toe size and any other thing you can think of.
Disclaimer 6: I LOVED the Sistine Chapel!

A lot of my disclaimers recently seem to involve me pretending that I don’t really think England is better than America. So I decided it was about time I openly admitted that it IS and exactly why it is.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be taken entirely seriously. If you feel like you are about to get seriously uppity about anything I am about to say then I suggest you take this moment to remove yourself from the blog.

1. Fast Food: There are very few fast food restaurants around here. My town has McDonalds and KFC, both of which are on the edge on the town and which I only ever visit when when of my poor friends desperately wants to eat with me but cannot afford real food. A few other places may have some other places such as Burger King… but never too many of them.

2. Guns: We have no need to have guns everywhere. We are less paranoid. Instead of waking ourselves up every few minutes to point our guns round the house at any potential intruders, we just go to sleep. If however, there is an intruder, we simply call the police and ask the aforementioned intruder very politely if they would not mind removing themselves from our household. They usually say yes, since we are, as a nation, polite.

3. Age: We are older then you. And thus more experienced. We have done the whole empire thing (a lot more successfully and less covertly) It was fun, but then it ended and we moved in our traditional brilliant style. Retaining, I might add. the odd country here and there, that while not really part of our empire style use our Queen as theirs. You however, are at the teenager stage. Full of wild hormones, running around shooting at random people because you are sure that this time they really do deserve it. Insistent that your way is the right way and terrified that anyone who chooses a different way may bring you down, or attempt to. As your parent, I strongly suggest that you just chill. It will all be OK. I promise.

4. Level of annoyingness: Lets face it, your accents are just annoying. And you, as a nation, make the most irritating tourists on earth. Standing there in your baggy t-shirts and bumbags, looking at something and saying how cute it is without really knowing what it is. OK, so I don’t know what it is either, but at least I say so in an English accent. And even if you DO know what it is you still manage to sound annoying when you talk about it.

5. Argumentativeness: This could just be because you are much bigger then us. But you do seem to constantly arguing. ‘Republicans are bad because…. yeah but Democrats are bad because….. it should be a state issue! It should be a federal issue!…. that person is gay! Gay people aren’t real! Gay people are people too… yeah but not as real as me, because I am straight…. I’m a Christian. People should only have sex when they are married and they should never swear. But I’m an atheist and I want to have sex all the time and I want to swear all the time so I am going to do it right in your face. I’m a Muslim. AGHHH!! A Muslim! Everyone run and hide! We should vote on it! Yes but the Republicans and the Democrats fix the votes….’
Get the picture?

Disclaimer 2: I am not really implying that I am that casual about intruders. I have a plan. It involves me hiding under my bed until all the bad stuff goes away.
Disclaimer 3: There is nothing wrong with being a teenage country, you just need a bit of parenting. I know you think you hate me now but when you are older you will thank me.
Disclaimer 4: If I like you then I am not including you in the ‘your accent is annoying’ group. I LOVE your accent.
Disclaimer 5: I have no problems with Christians, gay people, Muslims, Republicans, Democrats, Atheists or anyone of any other political, religious or sexual affiliation.

I have returned from the fair city of Rome. I am very glad to have seen it. It is a fantastic place, in so many ways. I have a list of Rome-related subjects to write about. It should last me a little while.

I am also very glad to have returned home. Mainly because it was just so damn hot. I prefer English weather.

I will definately be going back to Italy one day. I didn’t get to see Pompeii which is something I really really want to do. However, walking around out there in the heat would have been unbearable. So I just have to convince someone that they want to go back there with me. At some point before I die, anyway.

Next year I am going to Athens. And also Wales, Ireland and Scotland. And possibly Paris, just because I can. I have decided I like this going places thing. As long as I can come back home after a few days.

The trouble of food in Britain is that a large amount of it is not technically British. We are so multicultural that the food that we eat is a mismatch of varying cultures. Sometimes re-invented. For example the curry. Our curry is nothing like the curry that real Indians eat. Apparently, we like our food wet whereas Indians don’t. (disclaimer: I am not really stereotyping people in this way, I am sure there are many Indians that like their food wet)

My favourite ‘type’ of food is actually Italian. I do believe I could eat pasta and pizza for the rest of my life quite happily. Except for breakfast, but I am not a huge fan of breakfast anyway. (disclaimer: I am sure breakfast can be a very nice meal, and if you enjoy eating it, please do not be offended)

But in terms of British food, one of my favourites is the legendary Fish’N'Chips

This usually is made up of deep fried battered cod/haddock served with (surprise surprise!) chips!

Chips are not what Americans (deluded people that they are) (disclaimer: I do not really believe that being American makes you you deluded. Though I am sure some American’s are.). They are not this:

 

They are this:

But not.

Those are fries. They are skinny. Chips are fatter and delicious-er.

One can eat one’s fish and chips in a small range of ways. Some people favour salt and vinegar on their chips, some just salt, and some nothing at all. Some people like to dip their chips in mayonnaise and some in tomato ketchup. Some people like to squeeze lemon on their fish and some do not. Some people have salads or such alongside. I think they think that by having salad it will somehow negate the vast amount of calories from the actual fish and chips. You know the kind of people… the ‘I’ll have a triple cheeseburger with bacon, large fries and a diet coke’ people. Because the diet coke is going to prevent you from turning into a fat person.

I, personally, usually opt for mayonnaise with the chips and lemon on the fish. Very occasionally I do the whole salt and vinegar thing.

However, this is a very unhealthy meal to consume and so I therefore very rarely have it.

Eat a Healthy Balanced Diet kids!